As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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