This girl is more easily done than said...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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