I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
