so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
