What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
