i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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