Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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