remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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