Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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