she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
