btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
