I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
