The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
