Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
