I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
