I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
