Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
