You made me cry and you don't even care
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
