And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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