You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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