the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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