Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
