I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
