Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
