I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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