Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
