The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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