dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so that wasnt chicken after all
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
