K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
