i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
