Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
