Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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