the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
