you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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