Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize