So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
