Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize