the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
