Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
