I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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