Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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