I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
