i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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