They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
