Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
