omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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