let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
the liver wants what the liver wants
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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