There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
