you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
