I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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