I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
