areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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