please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
