just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
this hospital has no fireball
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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