my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
