my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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