I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
