I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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