piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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