U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
