i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
