Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
