I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
