Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
