Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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