dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
