It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I party with great urgency now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize