Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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