I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
