Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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