under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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