You made me cry and you don't even care
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize