Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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