omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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