Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize