And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
