is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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