don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
